Colorful!

Happy Valentines Day!

Yesterday I got the opportunity to spend the afternoon with my favorite four year old. I have watched her since she was a few months old. We built a snow man, then knocked it down, we drank hot chocolate and colored a valentine for Bobby. I can't forget to include that Saturday I spent the day with a long long friend who I forgot how much we truly have in common and her daughter Sienna :)

I only have a few minutes so I am going to do a quick bullet point.

• I am all about doing these photo challenges but I am pretty upset that my ideas were stolen. It makes me not want to do them anymore and make my blog private.
• I have ALWAYS hated Valentines day..Nothing good seems to come of it. Last year we went away for the weekend and had our first miscarriage. Need I say more? This year we are just so busy and really not in the mood to celebrate.
• I just saw the cutest Coach diaper bag at Panera. LOVE
• I really hope Dylan isn't getting into the crockpot that is full of roast and potatoes and is making my house smell so, so, so yummy.
• I love Bobby so much. He drives me absolutely nuts but I wouldn't trade him in for anything...okay maybe Dane Cook, and the guy off of Bones. ;)
• We are planning a trip to Florida for my birthday which is coming up quick! He wants to drive..I for one don't think we will make it to Florida in a car without killing each other. His driving is awful..and he claims mine is too.
• Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving at lunch everyday to walk across the street. But I love getting out of the office and having an hour to do whatever I want. Most days its reading or playing in photoshop.
• Speaking of Photoshop..why is everyone except for me so talented using that program. I can do a few things and I think thats just because I 'accidently' stumbled upon them.
• Lastly, I hate that Panera cuts your internet time off at 30 minutes..I have a lot more to do in my other 30 minutes.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday

1. Shadow

2. Pattern/Repetition
3. Bright White
4. Strong Army Strong
5. Warmth

Infertility Appt. One

I'm exhuasted. For silly reasons I was up until very early hours in the morning.

I had my very first INF appt. this afternoon. I am so thrilled with the Docs I am working with. I have THREE wonderful, optimistic, and compassionate Doctors. There is a lot of blood work, a lot of recording, and timing, and making charts..needless to say I have a lot of homework to do. I feel a little bit better about everything. We are finally getting to the bottom of what is causing all of this. I thought I would have more to say about this appt.

I gave up on my photo challege this week. I don't think I can conquer the shoot and edit..I get to frusterated.

On that note I am leaving this short post ending with a backyard covered in footprints!

Five; Love Letters to Kitty Paw

Four

This miscarriage killed us. Bobby and I are so mad at the world right now that its hard for us to even look at each other. We used to talk about what we would do with our kids. Example; we watch bones every night and there was someone on there named 'Dicky' (input immature giggle) I made the mistake of almost saying I would never nickname our chi-...Luckily, the surrond sound was on and he tends to get really into the show so I don't think he heard me.

Three babies..gone, I never got a chance to even meet them. I never used to think about them all that much. (I don't care who you are; if you haven't lost a child you don't know what I am talking about..I also don't care how far along you are. You ARE pregnant and there IS something growing inside of you. So 5 weeks, or 36 weeks..I don't want to hear it.) Last night I had an awful dream..I fell asleep thinking about our first miscarriage and what we went through. I kept thinking that I was laying on the couch just bleeding and 'contracting' and then I ran to the bathroom because I couldn't stand to lay there anymore. When I got up from the toliet I looked at saw..well I won't go into that. It was the worst feeling and I just sank down and cried, and cried for hours. I locked myself in the bathroom because I didn't want Bobby to comfort me. Since that day I don't think either one of us has been the same.

I am challenging myself to get a hobby because I can't keep doing this to myself. I haven't thought about Bobby's deployment in a few days..which is a big step. That is why you will be seeing all sorts of photographic stuff.

Sorry about the depressing, TMI post.

Three; Shoot and Edit

This weeks theme hearts.

Two; Shutter Love Tuesday

This weeks theme was eyelashes. Lucky me, I have a husband with the prettiest eyelashes.

One

All of my blogs just got deleted. I am not a happy camper. I'm wondering if its a sign that I need to start over or something. We had quite an intresting weekend. I posted previously about Valentines Day that without saying I was hoping to be pregnant. We took a positive pregnancy test on Saturday..and then turned right back around a had a negative one. I'm not crazy I know it was positive. Blood tests confirmed that I'm not. Same song and dance that we do every month. After going back and forth with the OB and my INF Doc. we got down to the nitty gritty of it being a chemical pregnancy. From what I have read, and from what both Docs told me this is what I gather;

I was pregnant. But something is wrong with me "which we will soon find out" and the fetus isn't devolping right. Causing yet another EARLY, early, probably wouldn't have even known I was pregnant if I wasn't so impatient miscarriage.

Things in the Grady house are nothing but tense. I rescheudled my INF appt. Its on Thursday at 2:30. I need answers, I need help, and I need it now.
On a different note. I couldn't stand to be in this house anymore today. I was upset, Bobby's upset, the animals are upset. I left for about three hours and went to Panera. I read and edited pictures. Took some serious personal time to calm myself down and remind myself that things happen for a reason and this will get fixed. Now if only Bobby could understand that. I'm mad. I need positive feedback.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday

I am not sure why but my blog posts all got deleted. Needless to say I am LIVID. So I am going to try this one last time. Thank you Ashley for getting me into this wonderful activity. Even more props to Ashley Sisk :)

1. Water; Nothing special. Just my kitchen sink.

2. Quote; " You don't get used to leaving, you just get through it." -Army Wives
3. Activity; My Odie man. He loves sniffing the camera lens.

4. Window; Open window that is.
5. Page 25 in a magazine Book; How Starbucks Saved my Life